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Fucking sick of english!

Ok i'm so fucked off of being writting in english all the tome, does anyone around her speaks spanish?

Pues me vale mierda! no hay muchos amigos en esta comunidad de mierda, todos se la pasan solo juzgandote. Estoy cansada de encontrar post en donde todo el mundo habla de las wanarexic como si eso existiera.... No existe! anorexicas son todas aquellas personas que tienen una obsesión con su peso, yo la tengo la mia es infinita... es tan asquerosa que cuento mas gord mas siento mas como y me quiero ver más gorda para castigarme por ser tan debil y por estar llena de mierda! este es el camino que escogi y no necesito que una manada de imbeciles jugando a los huesitos me digan que es un desorden alimentacio y que ellas sean quien me diagnostiquen. Por mas de que llegue a hora las 150 lbs, no tienen idea a donde he llegado y donde quiero estar y como es mi vida, mi obsesion por la pesa, por ver bajar los numero, por pincharme la barriga y noi sentir la grasa, la odioa tanto que me lastimo, me corto me pincho, hago todo lo que sea porque se salga de mi cuerpo.....

perras

Day 5: 314!!!!! Sucks!

Ok! I'm tired oh being so far away from my goal.... it was suppose to be a fasting day so this was horrible.

Horrible day!!!! Day 4: 1000 cals!!!!

omg i don't want to jump on the scale tomorrow.

Same stats this morning.

Tomorrow is suppose to be a fasting day..  but i don't think i'm gonna make it, i have too much appointments ans interview, so to much stress not able to take with me my own food... lets see what happen, i'll do my best

Day 3: 284

Stick to the plan! fruit/veggie day!
Stats:

cw: 150
gw1: 125
ugw:100

Let's made it!
Day 1: 500 calories (or less)
Day 2: 500 calories (or less)
3: 300 calories
4: 400 calories
5: 100 calories
6: 200 calories
7: 300 calories
8: 400 calories
9: 500 calories
10: Fast
11: 150 calories
12: 200 calories
13: 400 calories
14: 350 calories
15: 250 calories
16: 200 calories
17: Fast
18: 200 calories
19: 100 calories
20: Fast
21: 300 calories
22: 250 calories
23: 200 calories
24: 150 calories
25: 100 calories
26: 50 calories
27: 100 calories
28: 200 calories
29: 200 calories
30: 300 calories
31: 800 calories
32: Fast
33: 250 calories
34: 350 calories
35: 450 calories
36: Fast
37: 500 calories
38: 450 calories
39: 400 calories
40: 350 calories
41: 300 calories
42: 250 calories
43: 200 calories
44: 200 calories
45: 250 calories
46: 200 calories
47: 300 calories
48: 200 calories
49: 150 calories
50: Fast

ABC Day 2: 262

So far... so good....

Things with BF still the same.... sucks!

Day 1: ABC 500


Ckicken balls, 2 serving
Cal
58
Carbs
0
Fat
3
Protein
8

Baked Tomatoes, 1 serving (view recipe) 80 8 5 2
Spaghetti, cooked (pasta), 0.25 cup 49 10 0 2
 
total: 187

It's been a good day so far...

but I already miss my bf... texted him, but didn't answer back yet...
miss him so much...

mmm.... I'm i'lll walk to the super for a diet coke. That a 45 minutes walk.

Start point

stats (metric)
cw:156
gw1:125
ugw:100

Breack Up

After 4 year I broke up my bf yesterday. This is a stunning ocean of confused feelings.

I’m a perfectionist.

I’m going to start the ABC diet for 50 days, but I don’t want to eat randomly with no sense, so I decide to combine SMD, and make a full meal plan that have the ABC calorie range using the SMD 2/2 week program

The ABC Diet

The SMD Diet

My favorite online tool: http://www.sparkpeople.com is a calorie counting website, with food tracker (huge data base you just have to search and add to your day, it will show a nice daily review, exercise tracker, water and veggie tracker, you can make you recipe and calculate its nutritional facts, search recipes and add them to your daily calorie tracker… it has everything what I need. Check it out!.

Don't know how to start

When you get this big everything is so different, nobody tell you so when they convince you to start taking the "good way".
The point is that I have no idea how did I end like that. It was just normal not being interested in food at all.
Now mirrors are just stunning! my stomach cramps after what it used to be an easy day, now Im dizzy, get nausea headaches and everything...
How people can think this a good stage? people look at me like I'm just normal.... normal? ok right, that's what my current size says :medium!!!!! I'm just like any regular "medium" sized no-one. 

How can I pull everything back to its perfect stage of balance? Help me girls, I need a supportive voice.